04
Aug
Aug
This Is A Comp And This Is A Mouse.
Written by Shiko
Dear Boss,
Congratulations for the purchase of a new computer. For finally seeing the light and embracing the information age albeit in old age. It’s never too late for these things you know.
Newsflash:
- Your keyboard has all the letters in the alphabet. Let’s avoid that ‘this keyboard does not have R’ thing. It does. Why can’t they put the letters in alphabetical order? Because typing and finger movement is a well thought out science and one finger typing was not considered.
- The right and left mouse keys are not all yours for the pressing. Ok they are but forget about the secondary side until later. It can make life difficult for a beginner. Speaking of the mouse, it’s not to be pushed around with the finger tips but rather held firmly with the hand.
- You can finally drop the unnecessary paperwork. When an E-mail is sent to you, in most instances you’ll not need a printed copy. The information will be identical anyway. We have a planet to save.
- Every once in a while you’ll need mega doses of patience. Ever seen a donkey that completely refuses to move no matter what? Computers do that too. As you can see, all our hair is still intact so chill out and learn to restart.
- There is E-mail and Internet. Something dot something dot something is not an E-mail address.
- ‘But I only missed one small dot!’ Yes it was just a small dot but in this world you just joined it can stop you going places.
- For double click to work it has to be fast. Real fast. There’s also triple click but you might not need it.
- You do not need a calculator to confirm or counter check Excel calculations.
- And finally a little secret. Windows+M. The best 2 keys on your keyboard. For those times when someone happens on you reading inappropriate/confidential stuff and in your panic you cannot find the X to click. Emphasis on inappropriate.
You’ll love this world as you get to learn it. Trust me.
PS: This article is writen with full blessings of the subject. He’s fully aware that his situation is material for a blog post. A what? A blog post. A blog is this place on the internet that ………
By NiKolaS on Aug 4, 2009
oh, this is captured beautifully.
and if you feel the need to call customer care, first make sure the pc is plugged in, then turn it off and on again, if symptoms persist, change the operator.
By Kelvin on Aug 4, 2009
LOL hehe, this made me laugh
The funnier part is that your boss could very easily be mine. Yes, that means I get called to his office a lot. And then a lot of “aha” moments follow.
Yikes! Anyway [/rant off]
By Tamaku on Aug 4, 2009
‘Something dot something dot something is not an E-mail address’….lol!!!
By Mama on Aug 5, 2009
He forgot to include ‘Don’t make me tell you this stuff again’.
Aki teaching these people these things is soooooooo annoying. You have to repeat yourself day in day out! And to think they were all ‘number ones’ in their classes, where did their brains go to?
By solomonsydelle on Aug 5, 2009
haha. Too funny!
By Our Kid on Aug 5, 2009
You get nine dot five out of ten dot ten for this one!!! Loving it.
And loving these new surroundings.
By Cee on Aug 5, 2009
Hahahahaha, Shiku thanx for the redirecting for those who’ve been away, naona the humour is still there….dang this is funny….
By KK on Aug 6, 2009
LOL… I really can’t relate. My boss knows way too much more than I do. As a matter of fact, it seems there was a couple of things I didn’t know. Triple click… wow.
And that Windows M… Darn it Shiko, where have you been all my life.
By Maua on Aug 6, 2009
‘Boss, and it’s called a workstation, although work doesn’t stop there like buses in bus-stations and trains in train-stations’.
By mwistar on Aug 7, 2009
In this world you just joined, it can stop you from going places. LOL!
Beware your dots.
By shikomsa on Aug 7, 2009
Yes Mwistar Lol. And forward slashes and backward slashes. And so much more.
By BP 1 on Aug 7, 2009
Very funny!!!! Shiko, ati “You do not need a calculator to confirm or counter check Excel calculations” LOL . Crossing checking excel calculation with a very big Casio calculator is a common phenomena seems guys are looking for computer errors,
Btw , Shiko thanks for removing the clickcha thing it was really a bother and not user friendly
By shikomsa on Aug 7, 2009
BP the joke of it all is that at some point clickcha blocked me too. That’s how come the comments landed on the main page coz I had to post them somewhere anyway so main page it was. Couldn’t comment from the phone, couldn’t comment from home. Aii hata kama ni spam!
By UrXlnc on Aug 7, 2009
hehehe
shiko, so it looks like clickcha gotcha? ama you are technically challenged as the folks you mention above, sema ukweli dada, hehehehe
By neema on Aug 8, 2009
lmao..a blog is a place on the internet that…:)) dont you just give up trying to explain some of these things to people…hehehehe
By shikomsa on Aug 8, 2009
Your Excellency trust me I know my squares and circles. But captcha captured me anyway. Incidentally from the office all was well. Problem was when I used another comp. But I can’t live in the office now can I.
Neema there is this time I was telling my mum of my new found hobby…….. But she got the vague gist of it anyway.
By Mama Shujaa on Aug 9, 2009
ROFL! He was pushing the mouse with his fingertips?!
By shikomsa on Aug 10, 2009
yes Mama Shujaa. And often times by the time he gets to click the cursor has moved away.
By UrXlnc on Aug 10, 2009
shiko
have u asked him to move the monitor instead so that he can center the cursor?
By shikomsa on Aug 11, 2009
Your excellency will do. And then some. He’s back from a trip somewhere. He’s forgotten everything.
By Jellyfish on Aug 24, 2009
Ohhhhh. This one got me. Ati where is the R? Why can’t they have the keyboard arranged alphabetically? By the way come to think of it I think I asked that when I first started using computers a very long time ago, eventhough I have to say I couldn’t have because my mother owned a typewriter. You know the old mechanical things but this article “ai we wacha tu”. It killed my ribs and the comments don’t help either. Ati move the monitor to centre the cursor heeeehe. Ah let me go laugh eh.
By shikomsa on Aug 27, 2009
Jellyfish I know those typewriters that used to leave fingertips aching. How far we’ve come!
Comments often kill my ribs too.